It’s funny, the longer I’ve been involved in the femdom and fetish scene the more examples I see of it everywhere. It’s like I have gained access to a different point of view, everything can be seen in a different light. When I see a man holding dozens of bags for his wife, when I see someone wearing a metal color around their neck, or a “normal” line on a tv show has me giggling because it reminds me of sph. I see everyday things in a whole new way. How did I not realize it earlier?
As time goes on and I’ve been doing this more I recall memories of my own that have shaped me along the way. My earliest being my foot fetish, or my desire to have my feet worshiped. When I was a young Goddess, not knowing my future potential, I realized how perfect my feet were. This was at the age of ten, no other exposure to foot fetish or sexual perversions, I just thought that my feet were perfect. I noticed how other people had ugly toes, crooked, the second toe was too long, ew. Mine were perfect though, small, shaped nicely, and my toes were adorable. I showed them to everyone, I painted my toenails often, wore toe rings and anklets with open toed shoes and I loved getting compliments.
I also had one of those friends of the family who’s a little weird. You know, the kind that on Thanksgiving will ask to rub the ladies feet? Maybe I’m the only one. It was innocent and I was being pampered and I loved it. I started sucking on my toes at the same age, for no reason other than I was curious if I could. I easily reached them and my toes tasted salty, sweaty, different.
It should be obvious that I have always been a cock tease and a flirt. Guys knew I was out of their league, every time I walked into a room they all stared. Maybe it was because I was an early bloomer, a DD cup at the age of 13. Maybe it was because I was smarter than them and it was intimidating. All I know is I loved to ignore the attention, pretend it wasn’t even happening. Guys would say “hey” or “how’s it going” and I would walk right by, a habit I still have today. It gave me a reputation as a bitch, but I think some of them liked that.
One of my most memorable early femdom experiences was forgotten until only recently. It didn’t even dawn on me until a year into making femdom videos that I had done this exact thing for FREE in high school! My girlfriends and I would do sleepovers most weekends. We loved going into yahoo chat rooms and getting guys to flirt with us. Only it was getting so annoying to hear the constant “got a pic?”, we were underaged and didn’t want to send any pictures. So instead we would always ask for them to send first and then ditch the chat. One night it was my brilliant idea to try something new. Some loser had sent us the most embarrassing pictures, I was dying of laughter! He was on all fours in various positions, I even remember how disgusting and hairy his asshole was, fucking gross. Well I saved those pictures and the next guy to ask for our pics? I sent those!!! Haha my girlfriends and I were dying of laughter as the poor guy flipped out and cursed us. Only it got old for them after a while, they wanted to see hot guys and flirt, I wan’t interested because these jerking losers were pathetic. Little did I know this was one of my first humiliation experiences.
Then came the age when I realized I could get whatever I wanted. Another vivid memory was when I lived across from a gas station, about fourteen and fully developed. I would walk there after school and get some snacks, candy, a drink. A new guy started working there, bald and a little creepy. He would always “forget” to ring up half of my items. One day I told my mom how cool it was to get free stuff, only then did she point out to me his motive. But I used this to my advantage from then on. Wearing lower cut tops, jeans that had strategically placed rips high up on my thighs, thongs just peeking through a hole, I was a fucking tease. It’s surprising I didn’t get labeled a slut but I never gave out. I sat on a lap here or there, a teasing touch, I loved to stick out my long tongue. But only if you had something for me. Alcohol, weed, car rides, money, I only gave attention to those I wanted something from.
Ahh the memories. The more requests I get the more I remember things like this, little bits and pieces of my life where my future dominant self was poking through. I’m sure even more of them will surface over time. I just found these gems yesterday. I was looking through pictures of my last visit to the AEE in 2012. There was an after party at a large “cam girl mansion” I was staying at. I sold off tickets to a few lucky fans to attend, as did all the other girls. One of my fans asked to pose for some pictures, his idea. It started out tame, but well…
All before I considered myself a Domme, before I knew how kinky all of this really was. But I loved it, I didn’t know how to define it I just knew I got a rush. I loved the feeling I got from this kind of attention. I wanted to appear unattainable, and I was. Even my sly little smirk made it into my senior photo which my mother hated, she said it looked like I knew a secret. It’s the same smirk I make today when I read all your perverted emails or when I humiliate you in a video. Maybe I do know a secret, it’s how easy I can read all of you, know your secrets and poke that button. Here’s to more perverted memories to smirk about one day far in the future.